Saturday, April 24, 2010

mom thoughts

I know confession is good for the soul, so why are we so scared to confess our flaws/sins/struggles with each other? For me, part of it is admitting I don't have it all together and another part of it is having been burned/hurt by others when I have confessed or admitted stuff to them. It scares me to leave myself open like that to others than my very closest friends. But, I'm doing it anyway today. I have been struggling as a mom. Not the whole mom thing, but I am struggling with my Mallory. She and I are so different. Being a mom to Aubrey has been "easy" (I say that lightly). He and I are so alike. I "get" him. I know how his brain works (for the most part, I mean, he is a male). But Mallory is tough for me. She is much more strong willed than I ever have been, constantly says, "NO!" and screams. a. lot. It nearly puts me over the edge. D. said last night, "I understand child abuse." I totally agreed, because when the screaming won't stop, it's hard to know what to do. I love her so much it feels like my heart will explode, but she can get me madder and more irritated than I have ever been before. I have tried spanking, time out, hot sauce (which I think has lost it's potency with her) and nothing has stopped it. I'm struggling. If it weren't for prayer and my knowledge that this too shall pass, I would be a mess. So mom friends, here it is. My confession and struggle. I have been hesitant to post anything like this because I have recently been hurt by comments about talking about my children, but here it is. I'm open for suggestions, advice and lots of prayer.

On a much happier, mom encouragement note, last Sunday Aubrey went forward in church to profess his salvation in our Lord Jesus Christ. It was the most joyful moment in my mom life so far. In my opinion, it is the single most important decision he will ever make because it is an eternal decision. He had prayed the prayer back in November, but was finally ready to make a public confession of it. Oh, my heart was about to burst. I love how God takes times when we are struggling and lifts us up in the midst of it to remind us of His mercy and His care. Sunday did it for me. As much as I think I have to do it all as a mom or a parent, Aubrey and Mallory really belong to Jesus, and He is allowing me to care for them while they are here. What a responsibility and privilege. I love you, all my mom friends. Have a wonderful weekend.
And, while you're thinking mom thoughts, head over to my sweet friend Tara's blog. She is hosting a great give away. Her post above the give away was an encouragement to me as I wrote my post. She's an honest blogger, which I love! So go over there and check it out!


Carolyn said...

Hey Sara I know that exact struggle that you are having! I think that I went through that with Pipi at about that age and it was so frustrating. We seemed to butt heads a lot. I think that it has gotten better, but we still do have our moments. This sounds so cliche, but I have found that sometimes I just have to pick her up and hug her. You know as girls we all need to feel that love. It is hard in the moment, but it does ease a lot of tension. I am still trying to figure this whole girl thing out as well. I will be the first to say that by far my boys have been MUCH easier. I am certain that you will find what works for you! Congrats to Aubrey on his life commitment with the Lord!

Garretts said...

bless you, Sarah, for sharing your struggle. this is one of the things I love about blogging; it's an opportunity to share something you may not strike up a convo about.

i'm so sorry to hear you are having a difficult time right now with Mal. i can't say i know exactly what you are going through, but i've definitely had some moments over the last few months where jack has really tried my patience with his defiant behavior and yelling. i will be in prayer that you will feel some relief, calm and the Lord's guidance as you move through this season of parenting.

if there is one thing i've learned over the past 2 1/2 years is that mothering brings unmatchable joy, but at times it can be an extreme challenge. but, it's is one we've been equipped for. our God is so good; He will be by our side through it all.

thanks again for revealing your heart. this fellow mom loves you and will be praying for you!

Jill said...

I am so excited for your family and Aubrey! He is such an awesome boy!!

I don't have any thoughts regarding Mallory...just know that anytime you need to vent, I am here!

kriswalls said...

Ohhhh Sarah- I have similar issues with Blythe and I have no advice. I daily pray for wisdom and guidance! YAY for Aubrey!

Merideth said...

Sarah, Sarah, is as if you looked into my brain and wrote the exact thoughts I've been having about one of my own. Thank you for sharing your heart and being so honest about a topic most moms keep hidden behind closed doors. Please know that you are not alone and I think we ALL have challenges with one or more of our children. For me, it is Britton. He is an absolute angle for everyone but me. Sometimes I wonder if he really is related to us becuase he is so different from Tate and from me. Then Derek will say "I acted just like that as a child." I've learned that I have to let Derek deal with him during his "episodes" becuase I just don't know what to do. Of course, as SAHM's we are with these little loves more than anyone so at times I feel completley helpless about what to do.

I am praying for you and for Mallory. Maybe this is just a stage. Maybe the Lord will enlighten you and help you learn how to most effectively discipline her. She is precious and that stubborn little spirit of hers will probably make her very successful in life.

Love you!

Kim said...

I'll be praying that it gets easier for you. I go through something so similar with Hailey. I think we have the first child figured out (as much as we can) and expect it to all apply to the second child. When Hailey starts screaming I send her to her room and I don't let her come out until she's done. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Good luck finding what works for you and your family. Just know that when this passes, it’ll just be something else! :) And don't worry about what other people think.... if they don't like it they don't need to listen/read.

We're so happy for Aubrey (and ya'll)!

Between You and Me said...

just read this post...we've said the same things about parenting...with all 3 of ours at some point.

parenting is the most rewarding thing and the hardest thing we'll ever do. it (and marriage) show us our great need for Jesus.

I rarely remember this in the hard moments..but Carolyn hit it on the nail when she said that it's in those moments that they sometimes benefit from a hug.

I've tried it and sometimes it works miracles...especially with older ones...

When Lydia throws her fits...which can be at least once daily...if a hug doesn't work..then she sits on her bed until she can "get self control." it works!!!

at first her fits got worse...but after doing this for 6 months...she amazingly can get over her fit within 10 minutes.

love your heart..and love the willingness to put yourself out there...IT'S SOOOO HARD!!! :)

our little family said...

thanks for sharing and for being so real. It's so hard. my prayer is that this truly is a phase with your little mallory. gaining self control is something we work on daily, mainly with our little miss too. will be praying for you. so awesome about Aubrey!!! and love the picture of you & your daughter!!

Courtney Walsh said...

Please know you aren't alone at all. My boys are SO much easier for me to relate to than my daughter. She is so strong willed and so like me. I sometimes fail to see her inner beauty because I have a hard time seeing my own.

I'm glad I'm not alone!