mom thoughts

I know confession is good for the soul, so why are we so scared to confess our flaws/sins/struggles with each other? For me, part of it is admitting I don't have it all together and another part of it is having been burned/hurt by others when I have confessed or admitted stuff to them. It scares me to leave myself open like that to others than my very closest friends. But, I'm doing it anyway today. I have been struggling as a mom. Not the whole mom thing, but I am struggling with my Mallory. She and I are so different. Being a mom to Aubrey has been "easy" (I say that lightly). He and I are so alike. I "get" him. I know how his brain works (for the most part, I mean, he is a male). But Mallory is tough for me. She is much more strong willed than I ever have been, constantly says, "NO!" and screams. a. lot. It nearly puts me over the edge. D. said last night, "I understand child abuse." I totally agreed, because when the screaming won't stop, it's hard to know what to do. I love her so much it feels like my heart will explode, but she can get me madder and more irritated than I have ever been before. I have tried spanking, time out, hot sauce (which I think has lost it's potency with her) and nothing has stopped it. I'm struggling. If it weren't for prayer and my knowledge that this too shall pass, I would be a mess. So mom friends, here it is. My confession and struggle. I have been hesitant to post anything like this because I have recently been hurt by comments about talking about my children, but here it is. I'm open for suggestions, advice and lots of prayer.

On a much happier, mom encouragement note, last Sunday Aubrey went forward in church to profess his salvation in our Lord Jesus Christ. It was the most joyful moment in my mom life so far. In my opinion, it is the single most important decision he will ever make because it is an eternal decision. He had prayed the prayer back in November, but was finally ready to make a public confession of it. Oh, my heart was about to burst. I love how God takes times when we are struggling and lifts us up in the midst of it to remind us of His mercy and His care. Sunday did it for me. As much as I think I have to do it all as a mom or a parent, Aubrey and Mallory really belong to Jesus, and He is allowing me to care for them while they are here. What a responsibility and privilege. I love you, all my mom friends. Have a wonderful weekend.
And, while you're thinking mom thoughts, head over to my sweet friend Tara's blog. She is hosting a great give away. Her post above the give away was an encouragement to me as I wrote my post. She's an honest blogger, which I love! So go over there and check it out!

good times

I promised my (supposedly) loyal blog reader, Jennifer, that I would post about our weekend. D. and I went to a celebration for my sorority, Alpha Delta Pi's 100th anniversary at my alma mater, Brenau University. ADPi was the first sorority ever, and Brenau's chapter was one of the first ADPi chapters, so this was a big deal. All Brenau ADPi alumna were invited, and many of my sisters were there that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was a wonderful night of laughter, remembering college times together and catching up on what's going on with all of us now. I got to get a new dress and shoes and actually dress up! The program was a nice time of reflection on our sorority and specifically Lambda chapter at Brenau. Being an ADPi at Brenau was one of the best things that happened to me in college. My sisters encouraged me, challenged me and helped me become the student and campus leader that I was while I was there. This in turn, helped me become the woman I am today. I will be bonded to my sisters no matter the time and space that separate us. Happy Anniversary, Lambda Chapter! And Jennifer, don't forget to put your 2 cents in. You promised you would! ;)

One year

One year ago on Tuesday, my sweet sister Leah, her husband Chris and their son Jay welcomed a miracle into their family. Precious little Les was born. Leah and Chris had found out only 5 days earlier that their baby boy would be born with a cleft lip and palate. What they didn't know though, was that Les was truly a miracle, as his umbilical cord had a complete knot in it and he shouldn't even be alive. When he was born and the dr. told them this amazing fact, Leah and Chris knew even more that the Lord had a special plan for Les' life. He does for all of us, but Les was a perfect picture of God's amazing grace and mercy. Les has had 3 surgeries and faced some tough times, but through it all he has been such a happy, contented baby. Leah and Chris' faith and belief that God hasn't changed one bit from one year 5 days ago until now has been an inspiration and witness to all who have met baby Les and the whole Lane family. I have been amazed and so incredibly proud of the way Leah and Chris have dealt with the issues that have surrounded their journey with Les.

This past Saturday family and special friends gathered to celebrate Les' first birthday. Although all first birthdays are exciting and special times, this party was especially so. We got to meet a special friend of Leah's, Angela and 6 of her children. Angela's 7th child was born with a cleft lip/palate and Leah met her through an internet search of cleft palate feeding issues before she moved to Jefferson. Guess where Angela lives? Yeah, Jefferson. It has been such a God thing. She and her children are amazing Christians who have been such a blessing to the Lane family. Her daughter Katie babysits for Les, because she knows how to feed/handle palate babies from helping with her brother. Amazing. Leah and Chris thanked everyone there, but gave special thanks and witness to God, who is unchanging and faithful in all things, and has been especially real to them through all of this with Les. The feeling in the room from all those who have loved and supported the Lanes through this year was so sweet. Les loved his cake and even took a couple of steps for us while we were there. It wasn't just a birthday party, it was a celebration of God's faithfulness and hope for a wonderful future for Les. Happy Birthday, sweet boy!

Good Friday

I don't like to think of what happened on Good Friday. It's hard. It's almost unfathomable. I was listening to this song Sweetly Broken the other day, and it chokes me up every time I hear it. When I found it on youtube it was almost too much. I like the original Jeremy Riddle version the best, but when you watch this while you listen to the words, it's really amazing. If it weren't for the crucifixion, there wouldn't be a resurrection and we wouldn't have everlasting life with our Saviour. It's Friday, but Sunday is coming! Don't forget to turn my music off on the right side of the page first!